It’s safe to say that 2016 flew by and now one year later, is our first anniversary tomorrow!
Will and i have been together for what seems like an eternity – well actually in February it will mark a decade together. We started hanging out towards the end of the year in the last year of high school. In year 10, Will asked me if i was new to the school (LOL, i went to that school the whole time but our school houses never mixed and we were never in the same classes) at the time i was collecting money for Amnesty International. He kept pretending to put money in the tin and expected me to give him a sticker. No money, no sticker! Don’t be cheeky.
It wasn’t until the next year that we added each other on Myspace and started chatting. I always finished my comments to everyone with an “xoxo” and he took that as a sign that he was “in” he later told me. LOL. We started hanging out around exam time and later started dating in February. A few things i liked about him was that he was a gentleman (well as much as you can be as a 18 year old boy), he was kind and he generally wanted to spend time with me rather than only having on bloody thing on his mind HAHA.
For me, i felt a few different things. Excitement that i was marrying my best friend but plagued with anxiety. My anxiety/agoraphobia comes from not being able to leave a situation if i am feeling unwell. You have a fight or flight reflex – mine tells me to get the hell out of there. My medication at the time was a “take as you need” type drug – clonazepam – i tried to go most of the day without taking it so it could last me into the night. There were a few times where i burst out crying while getting ready – not for cold feet, but from the anxiety. I mean, this wedding could not happen without me. This day was about us, it can’t be a wedding without the bride. I also didn’t want to keep our guests waiting. The thoughts running through my head were telling me “what if you’re sick or you have a panic attack, it will wreck the day. You will let everyone down. What if Will thinks you don’t want to marry him if you show up late?” I took the clonazepam about 1 hour before i was due to walk down the aisle, i stopped crying and i walked down the isle to my husband-to-be.
Anxiety can affect even the most happiest days. I am lucky my husband is accepting and i don’t really get anxiety with him when we go out. He calms me down just by being there, i feel 100% safe with him.We had so much fun drinking, dancing and celebrating with our friends and family. Majority of my guests were from my side of the family and a few close friends, Will’s side was his immediate family and a lot of his friends. I wish my anxiety didn’t hover over me the way it did but if you take that out of the equation- it was a fantastic day that started the next chapter of our lives and I’m so thankful that we got to spend it with our my favourite people.
To my husband, I can’t imagine myself with anyone else but you. Here’s to the next 10 years 😍