T-minus 7 weeks

…..until d-day.

I feel like I need to apologize to a few people because I’m usually a nice person who won’t be “short” with people (I’m a people pleaser push over) butttt pregnancy has turned me into someone with little patience…. maybe I’ve grown a back bone or maybe it’s the babies temperament coming out already? Oh lord help me 😂

I have been very slack at writing for this blog. There’s so many things that I want to write but I don’t really want to be a mummy blogger and focus on my child but on the other hand it’s all that I have going for me right now with my anxiety in check. What I like to do is write so people can realate to how I’m feeling so they don’t feel alone. Right now I feel alone cause my husband is asleep and it’s 5am on a saturday morning… just did my 3rd toilet run for the night and now I’m awake and must have decided that I want to spill my thoughts now. 😂

Last Sunday a few of my beautiful friends threw me a baby shower. They really are the best and I can’t wait for them to be aunties to my little boy. They have already had aunty practice and as for me, I have had little to no aunty practice, let alone mummy practice so I’m looking forward to them showing me what they know 🙌🏻! Thanks again ladies, but I’ll save my thank yous for the thank you cards that I wrote last night.💕

I feel like I’ve noticed a few things in pregnancy;

  1. My anxiety has gone down to like a 20% thing rather than a 70% thing. I still avoid going certain places cause i don’t want to have a panic attack that I cannot deal with and I also can’t medicate with the usual clonazepam 😑 I’m fine with this cause no one really expects me to want to go out much at the moment anyway lol
  2. The cellulite on my butt has increased due to food and lack of exercise, HOWEVER I am happy to deal with this as my measurements have not changed anywhere but my tummy. I’ve gained 9 kilos so far and   I’m a little surprised that there is no stretchmarks on my belly…. I was expecting to get a lot since my ass and thighs are covered from puberty but I haven’t cared about them in a few years so if they come, they come but if they don’t then I think i can thank my mum who never got any. (Note, my boobs are a different story  and have a few but come on, there busy preparing to feed my boy 😍😜)
  3. My productivity has increased. Those who know me know I am a simple creature (lol) who actually enjoys being alone because I like to relax and usually chill out and watch a few billion hours of tv hah! Once the sickness wore off and I got to about 28 weeks, I can’t sit down. I’m on a time limit now and need to get shit done. I believe this is what they call nesting and I even do it at work. Lol. 
  4. I feel like I’m more independent. I am not a rule breaker in the slightest but I have this thing right now that if someone tells me I shouldn’t be doing something, I want to or will do it. For example- someone will be like, “has your husband set up the nursery furniture ?” And I’ll be like “I don’t need a man, I built this all by myself. Don’t tell me I need him to screw two pieces of wood together” haha! Of course no heavy lifting is being done but if it doesn’t cause me physical pain, there is no stopping me. One of my insecurtities is being a burden on people so I think that I literally hate the fact that if I have the energy to do something why would I ask my husband to do it when he works so much more hours than me? Oh and we don’t really have the typical “male and female” role in this house. Will washes the dishes and cooks and I clean everything else and paint the house and build flat pack furniture 😝
  5. I haven’t  minded people commenting on my body  while pregnant. Now this one is tricky cause I also think people shouldn’t be commented on. Only one person said something to me (customer at work) in a way that others might take personally while pregnant (the hormones 😝) and that was “wow your so big!”… I didn’t care but was like “yeah there’s a child growing in there now, crazy!” My stomach is big so she wasn’t lying haha but I think because I am actually quite comfortable with my pregnant body that I don’t actually care. This point would be a whole different story if I had gained more weight and in places other than my stomach, I feel like I would be more insecure.
  6. I feel like I love my husband more, lol. Until he puts his love of gardening over painting the kitchen because I can’t do it right now or letting the dogs in to drop hair all over the house after I just vacuumed. Or when he won’t give me a massage cause “his hands hurt”. Sorry mate, your child is literally crushing my insides and is about to get pushed out a small hole in a few weeks, you’ll get over your whole pain in 2 mins. 😂
  7. I feel like I’ve been very petty about little things and bitchy. I’ll put this one down to hormones and hope it goes away soon. Lol.

On Valentine’s Day, I had a busy day at work and didn’t remember feeling the baby move very much or even at all. I got home before I realized this so when I got home, I sat on the couch in a position that the baby usually likes to squirm about in, I had some juice and poked at him a bit. He scared me for a little while but I didn’t think there was anything wrong, until my thoughts started rolling and getting worse and worse. I called the midwife and she told me to come in right away but not to panic. That made me panic more because she wanted me in asap. 😑. We did some tests and thankfully he was moving around a bit, I just couldn’t feel it. He then revved up for a short amount of time before going back to sleep lol. The cool thing was that when I was hooked up to the montior, I was having Braxton hicks contractions. She kept asking me if I could feel it but I felt nothing and no pain but a hard muscle lol. Everything was ok in the end, except I didn’t talk to will that night cause he “knew everything was fine” but also due to shift work hasn’t been able to come to some midwife appointments and didn’t know the importance of getting checked if the baby moves less than usual. I think he got it in the end…. 😝

Anyway, it’s been an hour and a half since I started this post and it’s now 6:30am. I moved to the couch and now he baby is awake and moving and it really is the best feeling in the world. Yes, even when he pushes so hard on my bladder and I nearly wet myself like I’m trying not to do right now. 

Hopefully I can get back to sleep soon.

Thanks for reading xxx


One comment

  1. I love reading your blog Rik. God you write well. You will be such a kindMummy, my kids still speak fondly of you. Xxx


    Gaby Robinson



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