I’ll be honest here, but I really do say some dumb things. You see, I’m one of those people whose head is constantly ticking, even when I’m talking to someone and something completely random will slip out. My friends are used to this and I am literally the worst person to tell you a story because I’ll tell you 50 more in between the original story 😂.
For example, on school camp in year 10 we were camping by the river. It was a nice night (well as nice as it could be for someone who hated the whole experience and not being able to shower for 10 days lol) and we had a lovely fire. I was having a little think to myself then i asked my friend (in what I thought was a private conversation ) “does the river turn off at night?” That next second, literally the 20 people around me stopped and gave me this blank look and started laughing. I tried to justify myself by saying “my neighbours has a pond and that turns off at night”. (Oh lord.) I thought for a second that because we were sleeping next to it and couldn’t hear it babbling at night then it would just stop. Like a timer….. I was 15 at the time so I blame the wilderness and my lack of life experience for this 😂 still to this day I am reminded of this question.
The other day, I was invoicing a customer and I sent this message to my hubby, who went to university nearby;
I am the first person to laugh at myself. I know that I should think a bit more before I talk, but thinking too much is what puts me in these situations, I’m sure of it. This is me and I’m ok with it, it makes me laugh and others too so I’ll embrace this 😝.
Now what I don’t like is people that assume that I am stupid. I love reading. One of my favourite things is to watch documentaries on all various subjects. I like to know why things work and how they work. I think it’s cause I feel better knowing and I like to be 100% ready for a situation, e.g reading anything and everything on pregnancy.
It may be the hormones right now but a few things that people have said to me (even before I was pregnant, petty as that may be) that have ticked me off. I’m going to list them to get it off my chest since they are all coincidentally pregnancy related.
- I’m reference to doing something after a baby is born, I have said “once the baby pops out”.(mind you I said this years ago!) Now this is a figure of speech. It was returned with “oh my god, babies don’t just pop out, you know. Do you know how hard it is to have a baby.” My answer was “um… derrr.” What I really wanted to say was; “are you fucking kidding me. What is wrong with you, it’s a figure of speech…. I may not have had a child but I know how babies are made, how they come out and that it’s the most painful pain that I’ve never experience. What’s up your ass”. I need to learn to stick up for myself more, that was a great answer, brain. Say it next time.
- In reference to thinking the baby is coming early – “he’s might come in 4 weeks”. This baby is in my body, I am allowed to feel like or want him to come out 2 weeks early. Kind of selfishly because I want him to come out early like his mummy did. Haha. Response “those remedies trying to get babies out early don’t work. Babies come when they want to come. Stop wanting it”. How about stop telling me what I want because this is my body and pregnancy and I don’t need your negativity dragging me down. As long as he is fully cooked in there, I’m good. Early, on time or overdue.
- This hasn’t happened to me (if it has I haven’t been annoyed) but my pregnant friends have had it before. The unwanted comments on their bodies. “You are so big!”, “you really have put on weight everywhere” for example. While I am happy with my amount of weight gain, there are pregnant people out there who aren’t and feel huge, uncomfortable and insecure. Just don’t be that person. Or if you are that person, expect a bad response lol
- In regards to avoiding certain things in pregnancy. “I ate whatever I wanted when I was pregnant”, “I ate cold meat all the time” and “what’s the worse that will happen?” Well I don’t actually care if I get food poisoning but the baby inside of me doesn’t have the ability to fight off Listeria so i won’t die if I don’t eat soft cheese for a few months! Also, my midwives and doctors have been through years of school, uni and placements to get to where they are and I will do what they say. I won’t do what you say because you don’t have a doctorate in medicine so your opinion is irrelevant. Having a few babies of your own also does not qualify you as a doctor. Your body, your rules. I don’t care what you eat. Must be like what vegans feel like when people all of a sudden care about their nutrients and iron intake 😂
It is human nature to comment and judge on the things around us. Sometimes you are not always right, most of the time I’m not always right. I’m good with that…. I may slip up sometimes and say things to people that come across the wrong way.
One thing I am aware of now is people’s fertility. It wasn’t hard for us to fall pregnant, but now my friends are all at the age of getting married and having children, I am aware on just how difficult conceiving can be to a couple. I have always been obsessed with kids and have always wanted to be a mum so I would say things to my friends like “omg I can’t wait until you have kids, do you think you will try soon?” (Usually because I wanted to cuddle them as I wasn’t expecting my own). What never struck me was that these people may have been trying and it just hasn’t happened yet. Some may not want kids, but Ive never ask people that I know don’t want kids, only the people that I know want them. It wasn’t until my wedding day when I got asked “why aren’t you drinking, are you pregnant!!!!” I gave them this look – 😑 – and replied honestly – “actually I drugged myself with Xanax just so I could not have a panic attack today” lol, I also wanted to add, “I’ve put on 8 kilos” or “I don’t actually drink anyway!”. Most of the time these comments come from a good place but I know I’m going to be more careful before asking.
I’ve written this post over a few days, stopping and starting. It’s probably not well written, too whingy or started off funny then got serious. But then again, that’s me, thinking at a million miles an hour ❤
I guess the bottom line is;
slow down those thoughts a bit then you might not sound so silly… be exactly who you are
- To me and everyone else , think about how others may feel about your words
- Kindness makes the world go round