Post birth feels

It has now been one month since little Hunty was born. Man he’s cute, but then again I am biased.

I’ve had a while now to put together all the pieces of what happened 4 weeks ago. It was really hard to figure out how long I was in hospital and where i was on what day – endone, you are the devil!!

One thing that i can’t stop thinking about is that I felt like I never got that “moment” of excitement when you first see your baby. Probably because everything went down hill so quickly with my labour. I went the whole day and night being told that I would have him naturally (was up for a safe birth, any way that they thought was best, c section included) and was waiting for that moment of seeing him come out and him being put on my chest. Alternatively if he was a regular c section, they would have passed Hunter on to Will and put him near my head so I could see him for the first time. What i feel weird about was the fact that I never saw him come directly from me. Like he was inside of me but it was hours before i got to meet him. I feel like I was robbed at that special moment. Ultimately I am happy that everyone ended up safe and healthy and thank you for the midwifes, doctors and surgeons that helped us!

The first time I met Hunter for one minute before they took him to Clayton hospital hours after he was born.

I kind of feel that because they didn’t let me eat any food they knew a ceasear could be on the cards, instead of letting me push for 2 hours and then him moving down into my pelvis, it could have been avoided by just deciding to do a regular cesearean before? Anyway, it’s over and done with and if I fall pregnant again, I will need to deliver at Clayton hospital as my pregnancy will be considered as high risk.

“J” incision cesearean – when it was cleaned up. Look at that bruise! 😑

My scar is now infected and is hurting again. But oh man, nothing is more scary than that first sneeze or cough after the operation 😭 I cried so hard, it felt like my stiches popped!!!  As you can see from the picture, the bottom stiches are done differently than the “up” side. The up side is the part that’s infected. I have antibiotics and I’m taking the second course now. Of course the recovery can’t be that easy can it lol! The funny thing was, they did the first incision and I vomited while I was open hahaha 

Hunter is doing really well! He’s 4.5 kilos and gaining weight. The only thing is that I have found breastfeeding really hard because he was in the special care nursery and was given a dummy and bottles and he’s used to those shaped teats. He falls asleep on my breast and won’t wake no matter what I do… I have to use the nipple sheild so he’s a little less lazy but man it’s hard. I’m not enjoying it at all really. I’m seeing the lactation consultant next week so I’ll stick it out until then. If it doesn’t work out for me then we may have to switch to formula. I feel guilty even thinking of it but if it’s less stressful for both of us then it would be the right thing to do.

The first 8 days while he was in hospital went really slow but since he came home, that time has flown by so quickly.

I’m so in love with him ❤️💙.

RB xx

One comment

  1. Don’t ever feel guilty about not being accord to breast feed. You need to do what is best for both of you. I did mix feeding because I still wanted to feed as much as I could. I never had sufficient milk. I had a lot of conflicting info on how long to feed for etc. Bottle feeding has a lot of benefits. Including sharing the wake times overnight.


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